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June 14, 2010

World Cup on the IR pitch
Posted by Heather Hurlburt

As last Friday’s intentions to work gave way to the World Cup hysteria, we here at Democracy Arsenal decided to engage in a parlor game wherein we thought about how the Cup matches would play out if they were contested on the geo-political and geo-economic pitch instead of a grass one. Here’s how we thought a few of the duels would go:

France vs. Uruguay. Realists: France crushes Uruguay.  21st century globalists: Wonder about Uruguayan deposits of rare minerals used in hybrid batteries… and then realize Bolivia has those deposits, not Uruguay… are embarrassed… and hand the match to France.

Soccer score: Ended in a tie.

Algeria vs. Slovenia. Sure, Algeria’s far bigger and endowed with mineral wealth.  But this is a battle of the civil wars.  Algeria: 1960s battle with France creates great literature and film, along with a still-misshapen society and state.  Slovenia:  1990s battle with Serbia yields pseudo-Hapsburg yodels, NATO and EU membership. Slovenia takes it.

Soccer score: Slovenia wins 1-0 over Algeria.

Paraguay vs. New Zealand. Globalizers admire New Zealand’s economic staying power and newfound embrace of ethnic and cultural diversity. Realists wonder who the hell let these two into the tournament.

Spain vs. Chile
. Realists say:  former imperial mother country and NATO member has the edge over distant Chile.  Globalizers say: bond downgrade and bailout rumors are two own-goals too many.  Adios, Espana.

USA vs. Algeria. Another battle of the imperialist slayers.  Historians will recall that the Team US dispatched the Barbary pirates off the Algerian coast in one of its first appearances in international competition.  USA in a repeat.

North Korea vs. Brazil.
Realists: North Korea has a nuke. Game over. 21st-Century globalizers: North Korea’s players would likely collapse on the pitch from starvation. Meanwhile, Brazil as an up-and-coming global economic power would vanquish the hungry, impoverished Koreans with passion and style.

So far no worldview has come out on top. Lots of matches still to go though...

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Just an FYI, you might want to check out my post: “54 Tips on Things You Must Do While in South Africa for the World Cup”

Here is the link: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5455886/54_tips_on_things_you_must_do_while.html?cat=16

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