The Roast of Ahmadinejad
Posted by Michael Cohen
Courtesy of the Onion, if only foreign affairs was this much fun:
World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
In what observers are calling an unprecedented opportunity for the international community to express its grievances against Iran's controversial leader, dozens of world leaders and key U.N. delegates gathered Saturday to roast Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
You know, a lot of folks have been criticizing Ahmadinejad for covering up one of the most horrifying and unspeakable crimes ever perpetrated on humankind," Russian president Vladimir Putin told the assembled guests. "But don't you listen to them, Mahmoud. I happen to like your beard."
Ahmadinejad, seated in a plush red armchair just to the right of the podium, seemed in high spirits as he calmly endured countless ribs from his allies and fellow arms-race competitors. Rolling his eyes and shaking his finger in mock disapproval, he was taken to task for everything from his brutal treatment of political dissidents to his recent visit to Columbia University.
Next up was President George W. Bush, who began his remarks by pulling a small piece of what he claimed was plutonium from behind Ahmadinejad's ear. Bush then told him that this was only the first of two bombings he would witness an American president perform this year.
"What the hell is with that last name, anyway?" Bush said. "Ahmadinejad? Ahmendinifragelisticexpialidocious? I can't even pronounce it, let alone write it on a top-secret Black Ops memo."
There's much more here - and it gets a lot dirtier. So, if you're easily offended . . . well you've been warned.
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